Thoughts on Bad Web Design

19 04 2009

In my mind, there’s not much difference between a bad web design and a bad company. I usually associate the former with the latter; if your website is shit, I’m not going to bother. I make these judgments universally — be it with a store where I am a potential customer or a company for which I am a potential employee. I will not bother.

There are four big tip-offs that I shouldn’t mess with a company. Three of these have to do with web design. The last has to do with professionalism. I usually don’t take into account how pretty a website looks. The prettier the better, but I’ll take a plain website over a garbage one anyday. Qualifications for garbage websites (and therefore garbage companies) are:

If I can’t read your website because of the contrast of colors (or lack thereof), I’m not going to try. If your website is completely in Flash, I’m not going to try. Goodbye. (You heard me right, I’ll never work for Dior.)

If your website is cluttered, I will be annoyed. I might trudge through it if I don’t have to think too hard about where to look.

If pixelated graphics are laden throughout, I will be peeved. It’s not that hard to make sure a picture fits. I would like to point out at this time that you should not stretch your graphic non-proportionally; IT WILL LOOK LIKE SHIT. And don’t use *.gif files. You really don’t want God to kill all those precious kittens.

And finally, if your website has grammatical errors, I will not think twice about hitting that great big “X” in the sky to eternally banish you from my web browser. Even if I forgive you for all the other times I wanted to gouge my eyes out, I can’t forgive unprofessionalism. Even if you don’t know how to build a website, you should know how to write. Goodbye.

I would like to point out a website that passes the readability test — unfortunately — but does not pass any other test. I won’t even forward you to the home page; how’s ’bout the About page: http://www.mensusa.com/page1.aspx … Just read the first three sentences…

You can tell something’s wrong when you see /page1.aspx instead of /about for an About page.

Just browsing around the site, you can tell that it belongs in some sort of hall of fame.

I know this site got ragged on by Photoshop Disasters, but I can’t resist.

So ends my spiel. Learn from it.





I’m on Twitter!

3 03 2009

I just signed up!
Follow at http://twitter.com/gayhacker.





Bane of the RIAA

27 02 2009

The Pirate Bay has an awesome satirical cartoon I’d like to share…

Pirate Bay Comic





Oh How Facebook Angers Me, Part 2

18 02 2009

Facebook reverted to the old terms of service. This is the second or third time Facebook has gotten egg on their face and had to fix something (Mini-feed and Beacon, anyone?). I appreciate that they do indeed fix things instead of leaving their users out to dry. Facebook’s blog at blog.facebook.com isn’t responding, so I can’t comment on what they have to say, but I’ll update this post when I can get through.

ToS Reverted





“Single Ladies”, Calculus Version

21 01 2009

All the tired students, [All the tired students],
All the tired students, [All the tired students],
All the tired students, [All the tired students],
All the tired students,
Now put your notes up!

Calculus class, just woke up,
I’m sporting my plaid PJ’s.
Think, “Oh shit! Forgot there was a test!”
“Put away your calculators please.”
Banging my head, instructor says:
“Make sure you pay attention
To every direction, and don’t you forget,
If you integrate it, show your +c.”

If you integrate it then you put a plus c on it.
If you integrate it then you put a plus c on it.
Don’t get mad once you see that F on your exam.
‘Cause if you integrate it then you put a plus c on it.
Whoa oh oh!

Can you tell I’m doing differential equations at six in the morning?





Ramblings

11 08 2008

I really should rename this blog “The ‘Sucks’ Blog”.

Anyway, I’ve been searching for “Insomnia (Sasha B.A. Remix)” for a while, I just found it, and I uploaded it to imeem. Turns out they already had it. This has happened to me several times, so I’m just not going to search for songs using their search engine. If you don’t know how to search sites with google already, just type

site:imeem.com insomnia sasha

And it will search imeem for that song. Ugh.

So, did y’all see the front page of wordpress? That must have changed recently. Like today. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I guess it looks a bit more professional. I think it’s funny… its [arguably] biggest competitor is blogspot, which does not look professional AT ALL. Yay open source!





Creating Websites Is Hard

10 06 2008

EDIT: I just realized that the title of this post is the most ditsy thing I’ve ever written =/

I didn’t realize how hard it is to create a good looking, catchy website. The layout has to be on point, the graphics have to be extraordinary, and even then it might not look right.

I’ve been asked to create the website for a new gay bar that’s opening up. I can’t get it to look the way I want, and dealing with the people in charge of the club has been a nightmare. Well, okay, I’m not the one who has to deal with them. I’ve been communicating through my friend Blake, who was the one who got me this job. And that aspect is interesting, because I have no idea how he knew that I could make websites.

There was the issue of how much I should charge. Apparently freelance website creators charge anywhere between 20 and 50 dollars per hour. DANG. I think I’m going to charge something like $200 no matter what, simply because I’m not that great. And maintenance — I’ve done just a tad of searching around; it looks like they usually charge around $40/hr, but don’t quote me on that ;)

One of the managers told Blake to stop me from doing any more work, because a friend of one of the other managers has apparently already done some stuff. Hopefully what she has done will help me out, but if it’s anything like the poster she designed, I’ll be a bit frustrated to say the least. It’s been several days since I was told to stop working.

And if it turns out this girl has done, say, all of it already, then I won’t get paid. But it won’t be too big a deal. I think I’ll still be able to get in free whenever I want :P

I’ll post again when they let me know what’s going on =/





A Slight Name Change

7 06 2008

I added the word “The” to my blog header. The blog is now known as “The Gay Hacker”. I think it sounds better.

Yeah, it was a random decision. But I like it better this way :)





Liquor Before Beer…

18 05 2008

…never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker.

Folks, it’s true. Don’t forget it ;)





Smart Spammer (NOT!)

15 05 2008

I received this as a comment on one of my posts (the website has been screened out to deprive them of satisfaction).

Thank you for good information~~*

Please comeback to visit my blog too :http://www.i’m-a-dumbas*-spammer.com/pletely-stupid/

I’m sorry , If you think this is spam. but may i thank you again.

Bye

Now seriously, do you think I’m going to fall for “I’m sorry if you think this is spam”? The post you commented on presented no useful information whatsoever, just an idea. Secondly, learn how to type. “Comeback” is two words in that context. “Sorry” does not need a comma after it, however the period after “spam” needs to be a comma. And what the f*ck is “~~*” ?????

Okay, so I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but come on. If you really want me to believe that your post isn’t spam, you’ll have to do better than this.

Just to be sure, I looked up the site through Google (never actually accessing the site), and the snippet that Google presented to me revealed ALL KEYWORDS. I then looked up the phrase “Please comeback to visit my blog too”, and it revealed s/he had posted two other places, except both of them had different blogspot links than the one presented to me.

Now if I’m wrong, and (despite all this) you meant to leave a legitimate comment, I’ll remove this post. Otherwise…

FAIL.

UPDATE 6/1: I got another one from a “Matt Hanson” saying he had just added my blog to Google Reader. Yeah right. Any post that has a website like creativityinadvertismetnsweblog dot com is bound to be spam (btw, again I screened out the actual site). At least this guy could spell and make whole sentences. But it doesn’t matter: FAIL.








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